LLTM: "Thoughts in Solitude"

I decided to read this prayer by Thomas Merton, which I thought seemed to fit fairly well with The Sparrow and Sandoz's questioning his faith.

The prayer is about asking God for guidance, and although one is not sure where we are in life or what we are doing, what we desire most is to do what we think is right by Him, and because of that, He is pleased by us and will lead us in the right direction, whether we understand the road we're on or not.

The last line before the prayer, the authors of the book ask us to consider an interesting question: Does his trust in God seem to you a daring venture, a sign of weakness, or something else?  And it was that question that got me thinking about Sandoz again.

I think that in both cases, the doubt expressed is the exact opposite of a sign of weakness.  I feel that only through doubt can our faith be strengthened, and by asking God for guidance is the best way to find your faith again.  One line in the prayer mentions that although we may not understand what direction we are headed in, we have to believe that He will guide us.  I found myself really drawn to this because I had a point just like it in my faith journey.

My sophmore year in high school, I was extremely religious.  But my junior, and especially my senior year, I fell away from it.  During the first couple weeks of summer after my senior year, an old friend convinced me to go on a church mission trip with her.  At first I didn't want to, but something kept compelling me to say yes.  I ended up going, and on one of the last nights, I had a huge epiphany; there's no other way to describe it.  I was actually crying for about three hours, although I wasn't exactly sure why.  All I knew is that I had to turn my life around and get away from the things I was doing.  Something kept telling me, 'if you do that, you'll not only be happier with the people you love, but with yourself.'  When I first got back, I went back to doing what I did-- I wasn't around the mission trip people anymore, so it was hard to break away from my habits.  But then I talked to my friend, and remembered what my gut, the voice, maybe even an angel, had said to me, and I started cutting back, then stopped altogether.  It wasn't until I really read this prayer that I realized how much happier I really am with the people I love, and with my journey through faith.

Point is, I don't think this prayer is a daring venture, and definitely not a sign of weakness.  I think that it's a prayer for help, guidance, and something to turn to when you don't think you have anywhere else to go.